Derek Tillotson

Hour of Meditation

I have a weekly Dungeons & Dragons group I've started playing with online. Just our second week in and we had to cancel the session due to three different people having plans. Initially, it began to bother me until I decided to do something with that bother. Lately, I've moved to meditating twice a day: A 30-minute session before work (or shortly after I get out of bed on days off) and 10-15 minutes in the evening. With an evening suddenly free of D&D, I decided to go for an hour long meditation session.

It was one of the most spiritually satisfying experiences I've ever had.

I can't exactly specify how it made me feel. It's a sensation I can't say I've ever really experienced before. My focus going into the meditation was to catch thoughts as they pass through my mind. Then, I take a quick look at them. If they're connection to legitimate worry, anger, or fear, I take a deeper look. If they're anything else (which is just about everything--worrying accomplishes nothing postive), I take a deep breath, and I tell myself to throw it away. From there, I continue foucusing on my breath until the next thought shows up.

It resulted in feeling really, really good afterward. Not perfect, of course. My body was a little stiff from sitting on the floor for an hour. My legs were uncomfortable (I had to switch my seating position a few times in the final stretch) and my mind wasn't completely clear from worry, fear, anger, and discomfort (I think that's what enlightenment is). But the big thing I can say I got from meditating for an hour straight was another reason to continue meditating: There are more places you can go to on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels. I believe this was day 29 of my 30 days of meditation. Regardless, it was the day that convinced me that this practice needs to become a mainstay in my life.

Written June 13, 2020

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